Kudzu kinda gal...

   Recently a local pastor here in Louisville was filling in for our pastor. He preached a sermon out of Luke about the type of soil the Lord's word falls on. It was very good and really got me to thinking. Let me explain...
   In Luke the 8th chapter Jesus tells the parable of the Sower. The seed of course is the Good News of Christ, the soil is our hearts. Todd (the pastor) had sort of named these hearts in a way that really made a lot of sense to me. Don't tell me I'm not the only one that has trouble relating to the wording in the Bible sometimes. Apparently I am more the norm and Todd has seen reason to name these in a more understandable way. So here is what he said: The 4 soils are this...1. A Hard Heart also known as a sidewalk heart..much like concrete, dangerous, unable to grow. NOT the heart you want to be stuck with. 2. A Rocky Heart also known as a CHIA (yes, the one you are thinking of) heart. Little roots that have no real foundation or depth. Pretty surface. 3. A Thorny Heart also known as a Kudzu heart. A heart that KNOWS God's word but allows the "stuff of life" to steal God's word. A life of distraction. and 4. A Ready Heart also known as a HEARTLAND HEART. Obviously THIS is the heart you want to have. It is good, ready, faithful and has results. So in a nutshell...the parable makes a lot more sense to me.
   Upon listening to Todd's message it occurs to me that I am one if these hearts. I wish I could say that the Heartland Heart had my name written all over it...but alas I would be misleading everyone including myself. So I have to back up and look at the one blinking in BIG RED LETTERS. Sadly...I am a Kudzu heart through and through. You may not know what Kudzu is so let me explain. If you have ever driven through Georgia or Florida or any southern state you will see a viney looking plant that drapes all over trees and plants. It almost looks like a green blanket over everything. It eventually chokes the good growth out. It is everywhere and it's very hard to get rid of.
   As I begin evaluating the condition of my heart my mind wanders to the past 3 or so years. I can name off one thing after another that has happened in our lives and in our family. I can go on and on about how this, that and another thing just steals away the time I need to spend with the Lord and I can justify those things...but I feel certain you would see right through me. You see what I have done is allowed the "things" of life to steal not only my joy but the opportunity to serve Him and others simple because I was "taking care of things". It's my job to take care of everybody and for the most part I do pretty well. My motto is "if there is no blood, no one hurt and everyone is still with us as the end of the day...THAT'S a good day."
   I don't keep plants indoors for that very reason. I'm doing well to take  care of humans. Or am I?
Before I reach around to pat myself on the back I take a closer look at what I really have done.
When overrun with the everyday cares of life I have chosen to look to myself and others instead of the Lord. I have taken credit for things He deserves credit for. I have failed to speak His name when it needed to be spoken...and the list goes on and on and on...
   So, here is where I am right this very moment. I'm feeling the need to confess that I am faithless more times than not even tho I know the Word and the Good News. I have caused people to stumble when I am "attending" to everyday life. I have allowed the "stuff of life" to steal God's Word away. The VERY thing that sustains me, encourages me and gives me life I scoot to the back burner. The Lord has really convicted me of this revelation this week as once again the "stuff of life" has threatened to literally take over my thoughts, emotions and my commitment to the Lord. I ALLOW it to happen. It's a choice... MY choice. So once again READY HEART - good...KUDZU HEART - not so good.
I want a ready heart with all my heart. I'm tired of having "the stuff of life" drape all over everything to the point that I fail to see God's hand and grace and mercy. I want to truly trust that HE will take care of all that concerns me without any intervening from me. I want to look around and SEE with His eyes what needs to be done and who needs to be taken care of and most of all I want to be WILLING to do exactly what He calls me to do, not bargain my way around it but really do it. Whatever "it" is.
   That brings me to my point. Are you one of these types of hearts? Can God count on you to bear fruit in His name? Are you thorny, hard or rocky? I challenge you to take time and read the parable and let the Lord SHOW you His rich soil that He is waiting to cultivate in your life. Are you willing? TODAY...I am willing. Tomorrow...well that "stuff of life" stuff will be knocking at my heart's door. Will I let it in and allow it to steal my joy in Him or will I be still and wait on Him. I guess I'll see tomorrow. Which by the way...HE holds it in HIS hands...not mine. And that's what I've learned along the way.

Waiting on Him

At this very moment I am sitting in a hospital room listening to Pauls Aunt Dorothy struggle to take a breath.She is at the end of her life journey. We have been here in this room since Friday waiting for Aunt Dorothy to pass. She hasn't done that yet so we still sit and wait. Paul has not wanted her to die alone and has spent nights here making sure she knew she was not alone. She is quite a lady with quite a story. As far as her story in my life I have come to respect,admire and love her deeply. Did I mention that I've only aquired "niece"status by marrying into it? She HAD to love all of her blood relatives because, you know they are her blood relatives. I had to earn a place In her heart. It helped that her late husband and I got along famously.He was a character and he was the love of her life. When he passed away unexpectedly she was devastated. She really struggled with being alone. We were transferred to Louisville shortly after his death. She had come to love and care for our kids and they were pretty sure she hung the moon. So as we hunted for a home in Louisville we decided to do so with her in mind. We would find a a home with a room for her as well. She came to house hunt with us and always offered her opinions on every house we took her to. When we bought our house there was a room just for her. It was a purple and she loved it. We told her "this is your room. In fact the kids and all of their friends called it that. She would come and spend weeks and holidays with us and it was wonderful. There were many times when the kids would be outside playing and Aunt Dorothy and I would sit and talk. Not just for a short time but for hours. I heard about her life, school,work,family and all the things that made her...her. It was fascinating. The thing I didn't hear about outwardly was her faith. She didn't so much talk about her faith as she lived her faith. She had lived it everyday since about the age of 12. She didn't go around proclaiming it to everyone, she SHOWED everyone what it meant to trust the Lord with her life. It wasn't an easy life but one of trust and believing. So where am I going with this. As I sit here listening to her gasping for every breath I keep finding myself begging the Lord to take her home with Him. To somehow make this easier,for her not to struggle anymore...but then it dawns on me that this is nothing new for Aunt Dorothy. Struggling has always been a part of her life. Struggling was something she has been used to for years in many ways. Struggling was exactly WHY her faith was so obvious. Aunt Dorothy's "redeemer" as she liked to refer to Him,had carried her through every struggle in His timing,love and mercy and tonite...would be no different. He would use this final struggle as a way to glorify Him. So as I sit here listening to her final breaths I am amazed yet again the the Lord would allow me to witness His endless mercy and love. Yes, Aunt Dorothy will meet Jesus very soon and she will be ready, probably alot more ready than most of us. Aunt Dorothy,you have fought the good fight and your reward in heaven is great. I wish I could see the smile on a your face when He looks at you and says "Well done, my good and faithful servant...now come rest." I will miss you so much as will the whole Bruce family. You are irreplaceable. No goodbyes...just see you again. I love you. P.s. would you give Tate and Liam a hug for me and tell them their momma and daddy miss them everyday, their little sister Charlee is a hoot and mimi and pawpaw love them to the moon...and back. "Father, thank You that You chose to bless my life by Aunt Dorothy's life. The way You show Your love to us through others amazes me. Thank You, Thank You."