The past few days of "life" have been a blur. With the excitement of my daughter turning 20 there were plans made for her celebration. Nothing big, a trip to an amusement park with her dad and a friend.Cake and presents when she returned home.You know...the usual. It's the "usual" that took a wild turn. Upon the return home, Laura broke out in hives from head to toe. Her breathing changed and things changed quickly. Gifts would have to be looked at and appreciated later. Off to the hospital we went. Long story short...we are still on (what I like to refer to as) Mr. Toad's Wild ride that I'd really like to get off of. I've never cared for wild rides but for some reason God has used this circus atmosphere to yet again TRY to teach me something. Question...(sorry Will Howlett, I had to use it and you said that using it in print was ok) what exactly would that "something" be? In the words of my father..." I have a sneaking suspicion..."
As I have shared in a previous post my daughter Anna and son-in-law Josh lost their twin newborns back in April. We have all grieved and are still grieving. Yesterday, August 5th was Anna's original due date. To some you would not think it was or should be a momentous occasion. To Anna and Josh it was a reminder that their arms are empty along with the dreams and hopes they had for the boys.For the rest of us we sat and watched the day come and go with sadness and anger. BUT...August 6th came as well. The tie-in? you ask...
The tie-in as i see it is this. Life. We didn't ask for more days but for some reason God has seen fit to continue to give them to us. Some are good and others are NOT,but they are LIFE.
Life hasn't made a whole lot of sense to me lately but one thing I have noticed is that it has FORCED me to continually call on Him, ask for His guidance, RELENQUISH all that troubles my heart and mind and TRUST that He knows whats better for me than I do. So life goes on...and life is MEANT to "go on". It is meant to be lived, not survived. It has a purpose and a mission. The Bible tells us to go into ALL the world, preach the gospel, tell people about Jesus and let them see Him in you. (obvious paraphrase)
So back to what I'm supposed to learn. Some of this lesson may be that even in ALL things I should show and give OBVIOUS thanks. Yes...even in the hard times. Truth be told, I am not good at that. OR perhaps someone watching needs to see my faith. Not just the faith I have in hard times but the faith I attempt to LIVE by. I DON"T know what the lesson is and I may never know. But as I sit here yet again with Laura in the ER I am only slightly thankful (He's still refining me...remember?) that I have been given another day to "live" not for me but for His purpose.
p.s. God, Could you at least slow this ride down? It would be greatly appreciated.....and that's what I've learned along the way.